OK, so now that you have a bit of background on my experience with strip clubs, I’ll share my knowledge with you (for those of you that have your own experience, this will be more like a “comparing notes”, and I would love to hear from you about your own experiences and opinions.)
Where to go: If you are in a relationship, ask your dude (Oh, he’ll know, trust me! And if he doesn’t, he’ll find out the 411 from friends RIGHT QUICK!) If you are not in a relationship, then you’ll have to use other resources (a personal reference is always best - from guy friends, girl friends, but as a last resort, do some research online.) Another factor is the city you’re in. Some have more to choose from than others, and some will have options for ”classier” establishments. For obvious reasons, Las Vegas is a great place to check out a strip club, so if you’re planning a trip there, you might consider adding that to the itinerary.
When to go: As far as the time of day/night, the later the better. Strip clubs, by nature, are late night establishments. You do not, I repeat you do not want to go at 8pm. Trust me! I am sure the girls working at that time are very nice and work just as hard and all that, but let’s face it, you’ll be experiencing the “B” team at best. (the morning and afternoons are the “C” team.) You want the “A” team. The earliest I would go would be 10pm. Prime time is midnight and thereafter. As far as the day of the week, obviously the weekends are best - again that’s when you’ll see the “A” team. As far as time of year - it’s all good pretty much year round.
Preparation: If you think you might want to check out a lap dance, wear pants. Lap dances take place, well, in the lap - duh. Which means you’ll have your legs parted. Imagine trying to do that in a skirt. Yeah. Also, wear something sexy, but don’t try to look like you work there - unless you want to make a couple extra bucks (just kidding - you’ll get in trouble if you try that!) Bring some $1 bills, and some $20’s too. The dollars are for the stage dancing, the 20’s are for the lap dances and drinks.
Stage dancing: If you choose to sit at the stage (some clubs have more than one, by the way) know that it’s common courtesy to give each dancer a dollar for their dance. It’s not that much to part with, and it also gives you a chance to appreciate the finer nuances of pole-dancing (I say this with full respect, not sarcasm, by the way.) There is an art to strip and pole dancing, and it requires quite a bit of athletic ability (hence why there are now work-out classes that teach pole dancing. And I will be posting about that in the future for sure!) Certainly there is a range of ability - some girls look like they are just going through the motions (BOHR-ring!), while others look like they may actually be enjoying themselves! You can really get a feel for the girl by watching her dance. And I must say that the female body can be so beautiful, graceful, and strong. A downright work of art. Although I am not a lesbian, I can certainly appreciate the female form, and I can understand what a lesbian sees in another woman (once again, another topic for another post!) Anyway, the additional advantage to seating yourself at the stage is that you get to check out a number of the dancers, and see if perhaps one of them strikes your fancy for a lap dance. Generally speaking the dancers that are more enthusiastic on stage will be more fun for a lap dance. It’s also important to have at least some sort of “attraction” if you’re going to check out the more intimate side of a strip club.
Lap dances: As I mentioned, this is more intimate. It is also the dancer’s main source of income. Getting a few bucks for the stage dance is kinda like a waitress getting her minimum wage “salary” (it’s at least “something”, but it’s not the “main thing”.) It’s in the club’s best interest that the girls dance on stage because it attracts customers, and adds to the “ambience”. However, it’s usually not what a dancer is there for (let’s face it, most of us that work a job don’t do it for pure enjoyment, we also want to make as much money as possible.) That’s why a dancer likes to focus on lap dances. In fact, there are some dancers that will pay the “house” extra so they don’t HAVE to dance on stage. I am saying all of this because I want you to know the general mentality. While walking around or sitting at a table, you will no doubt be approached by lots of dancers asking you if you would like a lap dance. And if you understand what’s behind it, it makes it easier to appreciate their position. If you decide to give it a try for the first time, let her know you’ve never had a lap dance before. This will help her make you feel more comfortable, and therefore the dance more enjoyable for you. Usually she will wait for the next “song” (there’s a DJ that plays songs - actually they are sections of songs that are much shorter than the whole song - usually rock and pop. In between you will hear the DJ and that’s the cue that the “song” is over and the next one is beginning.) Make sure you confirm with her what the rate is for one song before you begin. You can start with your hands at your side. The dancer won’t mind if you put your hands around them, but do what’s comfortable for you. In addition to enjoying her dancing for you, if you came with a partner you will no doubt notice that he is completely enjoying watching you! Although most dancers are good about letting you know when the dance is over, it’s a good idea to listen for the music fading out and the DJ talking. Usually she will ask if you want to continue - which means another dance, and more money. It is perfectly acceptable to say “no thank you.” She will then let you know what you owe for the dance, you can settle up, and she’ll be on her way.
VIP Room: The VIP room is the next level up from a lap dance. As the name suggests, you pay a higher price, but it’s for multiple dances, and it’s in a seperate, more private room. As with most things in life, you get what you pay for and this is no exception. However, it can get very expensive very quick - so don’t do the VIP room unless you are a) ready to spend around $300-$400 for around an hour (in addition to paying for dances you may have to pay for drinks, and also tip the doorman), and b) you really really really like the girl. Even so, I’m going to be honest and say it’s probably not the best bang for your buck. It’s kind of like “table service” at a nightclub. You pay big bucks for basically the “right” to an “exclusive” version of what everyone else has regular access to.
Well, I think that about concludes my Strip Club 101. I’m sure I’ll think of more stuff to say, but maybe I’ll post that later in “Having fun and at strip club - Part III.” Until then, enjoy checking out your local strip club(s), and keep me posted!
