There’s no doubt this happens more often than we’d like to imagine. And although I’ve never had it happen to me, I’ve heard this type of story a few times over the years from various friends of mine.

Here’s the general scenario. You are hanging out somewhere (a party, a bar, a club, maybe even work), minding your own business, and you happen to find yourself talking to the boyfriend/husband of a girl friend of yours. You are being friendly because this is your girl’s dude and you want to get along. You may even enjoy his company and consider him a friend as well. What you are not doing is flirting. No one else is close by – inlcuding your girl friend – and all of a sudden you realize the guy is making a pass at you. Maybe he touches you “that way”, maybe he tells you he has feelings for you, maybe he full on goes in for the kiss. Regardless of how he does it, you KNOW he wants you. Sexually. Sooner than later. In spite of (becuase of?) your friendship with his girlfriend/wife. Yikes!

Your mind is reeling and you know you have to think fast about how to react. Unless you are a complete slutty bitch (yes, I have strong opinions about this), you figure out a way to stop the process immediately. There are two options for how to do this:

1. Politely tell him you are not interested (or tell him off not so politely)
2. Pretend it didn’t happen, excuse yourself, and avoid him in the future

Either way, you are still faced with the most difficult decision: do you tell your girlfriend or not? There is no easy answer here. Both options could have a negative outcome:

1. You never tell your girlfriend, and she continues to love someone you know is an asshole. You feel like a horrible friend for not being honest with her, and not trying to warn her.
2. You tell your girlfriend and she doesn’t believe you, and it destroys your friendship.

Unfortunately, my observation is that number 2 is the most common. I understand that when we are in a relationship it is often difficult to see clearly, especially if it’s something negative about the one we love. I realize that there are always women out there that are caddy selfish bitches that wouldn’t think twice about stealing our boyfriends/husbands. But once again I am disappointed at how women treat other women. Why do we not believe – or at least hear out our girl friend when she comes to us in confidence, trying to be a good friend? Why is the love of a man more important than the love of a friend?

Personally I think there are several problems that contribute to this type of scenario:

1. Women remain friends with other women that they know are caddy, selfish bitches whom they can’t trust
2. Women remain in relationships with men who are assholes, through ignorance or innocence
3. The reasons for the above is usually due to low self-esteem
4. Therefore a woman does not like to be confronted with the possibility of infidelity
5. Men take advantage of all of the above

So, what to do if your friend’s man makes a pass at you? Honestly, I don’t know. I guess it would depend on the factors in my list above. There’s probably no right answer, but perhaps some of you out there can share your experience and advice? Let us know what you think…