Wow, I can’t believe it’s been two years since I published my very first post here on O4Her!

In celebration of this anniversary, I am going to list out my Favorite Blogs (right column) - and WHY those sites are on there. It’s not a full-blown review, but kinda a short snapshot review of each blog. Although the list has changed over these last two years, you can always count on my blogroll being a list of blogs I actually read (which is one of the reasons the list changes.) Two things that are in common with all of them is:

(1) They are sex positive
(2) They are updated regularly

I’d love to get your opinion about these blogs, so feel free to leave a comment (it can be annoymous if you’d like). You’re also welcome to give your opinion about this blog, and also some of your favorite naughty blogs. I’m always looking for new naughty material to read! Until then, enjoy!

Adult Blog Spider - A great listing of other adult/sex blogs (in case you don’t get enough from my list!)
Always Aroused Girl - A well-known sex-blogger, techie, mom, and awesome writer, been around since 2005
Blue Eyed Vixen – A mom, wife, lover, and interesting sex blogger, with stories, pics, and rants
Cleavage – Awesome writer/blogger who writes about life, sex, family, etc. Very entertaining and funny
Dr. Tim - Director of Scientific Affairs for Doc Johnson (sex toys), very informative, with personality
Hot Movies For Her - The blog for the popular Video On Demand, Porn For Women website
Janes Guide - If it’s a decent adult website, it’s probably been reviewed by Jane. And this is her blog
Moms In Babeland - The blog for the popular adult/sex toy store Babeland, lots of good info/discussions
Ms. Naughty - If you’re a woman and you like porn, this is a blog for you
Naughty Mommy Reviews - Naughty Mommy who does (naughty) reviews (duh!) & stuff. Funny/entertaining 
Pop Porn - Tongue in cheek news about the adult industry. It’s like Us or People mag but XXX
Rabbit Write - Intelligent sex journalist, sex positive and smart, great writer = awesome blog
Regina Lynn’s Sex Rev 2.0 – At the intersection of Sex and Tech, informative and entertaining 
Ryan St. Germain - Amazing photographer, often fetish-related, a great writer. Oh and a  rare smart/sexy/nice guy!
Sex And The 405 - Los Angeles. Sex. News. It’s that missing “Sex” section of your L.A. newspaper
Vagina Drum - Young, funny, honest blogger about sex, life, and whatever else crosses her mind
Violet Blue - Prominent (because she’s smart as hell, and speaks and writes that way) sex writer and educator who has her thumb on the pulse of all things adult

Whew! I could have written a paragraph about each one, because each of them are awesome in their own way, but suffice it to say that if they’re on my list, I consider them worth checking out. If you agree, or especially if you disagree – please let me know. I’m always up for a good logical debate. If you have a suggestion for a blog to add to my list, let me know. But be prepared to hear the truth from me – good, bad, or ugly.

Anyway, please enjoy these links, and here’s to 2 years of O 4 Her. I look forward to sharing my naughty side with you this next year, and who knows – maybe even another year! Or two. Or 10. My dirty mind isn’t going anywhere (except maybe to hell if you ask certain people….lol)

Yep, February 22, 2011 has been officially named Lady Porn Day, thanks to Rachel Rabbit White (my new hero!) Here’s one of her recent tweets that sums it up:

“Esp. in terms of dealing w/ guilt or body image & sexuality. I want to empower girls who like porn & not erase those who dont.”

Exactly. On so many subjects, including porn and sex, we think we need to take a side and hate the other side. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s totally OK to like porn. It’s totally OK not to like porn. What’s important is knowing which one you are and why, and respecting the other camp. If porn ain’t your thing, no problem. And probably any further discussion of it is not necessary for you. I wish you a wonderful day and a wonderful life. Truly, I do!

Now, if you’re like me (a woman who enjoys porn), read on! I’ll bet one of the first things you’re saying is, “Yeah, I like porn but there’s not a lot out there for ME.” Yep, sad but true. Here’s why I think women have a problem finding porn:

1. Most porn is made BY and FOR men. This is true for both straight porn, and of course gay porn – which has hot guys, but not quite in the angles and positions that get your motor going. There is a smaller lesbian market, which has some hot girl-girl stuff going on, but would require a whole different post, so I’m focusing on straight porn here. You may think it is some diabolical plot against women but I think the reason is much more simple. Money. When you create a product, you go after the largest market share in order to gain the biggest profit. Who is the biggest market share for the porn industry? Men.

2. Women don’t buy/watch a lot of porn. I know, it’s a chicken and egg scenario. If there’s nothing out there for us, we’re not going to buy/watch it. But if we don’t make the effort to find something we like, and become a vocal consumer, this will not change.

3. Women have been taught that porn (and in general, a female enjoying sex) is wrong. And in fact we are getting that brainwashing from “both” sides. The conservative side says it is morally and spiritually wrong. And the liberal “feminist” tells us that porn is degrading to women. It’s no wonder we get a guilt trip regardless of our position on the religious/political/ethical continuum.

4. Women don’t feel comfortable talking about sex or porn. With anyone. Not our friends. Not our partners. My guess is that we are afraid of being judged by our female friends. And perhaps we are afraid to open up and expose our fantasies with our partners for fear of being rejected. Whatever the case, women don’t talk about sex and porn nearly as much as we THINK about it!

5. What women like is as varied and complex as what men like. Now, I realize the stereotypical “porn for chicks” is porn that has a story line, lavish sets, a sense of sensual pleasure and passion between the partners, isn’t too “out there” (whatever that means), and of course a handsome guy in it. And this is because a lot of women have said that’s what they want. But I’m here to tell you that this is only one segment of the female market. Women are turned on by much much more. Personally, I get annoyed when there’s too much story line and not enough sex. And as long as all involved look like they’re having a good time, I don’t NEED a lavish set or partners dripping with passion. The one component that is a deal-breaker for me is the guy. Yep, he has to be hot. Hey, we are talking about fantasy here. If the guy doesn’t turn me on, the porn doesn’t turn me on. Fortunately, the industry is finally getting hip to this, and is casting hot guys in porn. Woo hoo!

All of these barriers are starting to break down, but we’ve got a long way to go, baby. And not to sound cliche, but the change starts with YOU. Ladies, it’s time to make the effort to seek out what you like. Buy what you like. Get vocal about what you like (especially with your partner)! If you’re a bit shy, and aren’t up for going “public” yet with your interest in porn (talking about it with others, or going to an adult retail store), there’s a lot you can do privately from the comfort of your own home (or if you’re a bit more daring, your office), thanks to the internet:

1. Google lots of stuff like “porn for women”, “hot guys in porn”, popular porn for women”, and any other keywords that you are looking for. The more specific the better. If you fantasize about being tied up, Google those words! Find out what’s out there. You will also learn more about what you like or don’t like, the more you look.

2. There are tons of sex blogs by women out there. Each with their own personal viewpoint and recommendations. The more you find, the more you’ll find. Trust me – we sex bloggers like to connect! Start with my blogroll, and see where it takes you.

3. There are tons of sex toy websites out there. In addition to tons of DVDs for sale, they have forums and blogs with vocal women talking about what they like, and where to find it. A few of them are: Adam & Eve, Eden Fantasys, Babeland, and Good Vibrations. After doing some research, buy yourself a DVD – or two or three. If you find something you like, get other similar DVDs (same studio, same performers, same genre.)

4. If you want to watch something right away, and/or not spend a ton of money, check out an adult VOD (video on demand) website like Hot Movies For Her.

5. If you like a specific porn star, many of them have a personal website that you can subscribe to, and watch them in action on a regular basis. One pornstar and website that is popular with couples is Kelly Madison. She and her husband Ryan film their sexual encounters and share them with you. They put a lot of thought and energy into making short and entertaining story lines, sexy scenes, sex that’s hardcore but still tasteful, and they love their fans. Whether it’s Kelly, or another star, sometimes following someone specific can help you focus and explore your sexual desires.

6. Once you figure out what you like, SUPPORT what you like. Support your favorite bloggers by clicking on their links, and patronizing their sponsors/ads. Support your favorite adult retail website by buying their products and being active in their forums and blogs. Support your favorite adult websites by subscribing to them. They key to getting what you want, and more of it, is to speak up. And fortunately the internet provides you a way to do it annonymously – if you so desire, and still be heard. You have no excuse. You really don’t!

Well, this turned out to be a loooong post! I guess I’ve got some opinions, huh! Anyway, I hope this has been helpful. This is exactly the reason why I started this blog – because I think women need to talk more about sex and porn. So, let’s get to talking!

I just heard that the Hot Movies office was raided by the FBI this morning! For those that may not be familiar, Hot Movies (including Hot Movies For Her – see the “Girls Watch It Too” banner in the right column here) provides online adult videos on demand. Their website is down, but there are no details yet as to exactly what is going on. I will keep you posted when I hear more.

“…women tend to be more “discerning” shoppers – they want to know where the content is coming from, do the producers/sellers care about them or are they just about a quick buck. As opposed to guys buying with their penises, I think more women shop with their head and heart.”
- Venus Vegas

As many of you may know, I love the website HotMoviesForHer.com! And fortunately I happen to know one of the amazing women running things over there! She is known as Venus Vegas (see her bio for more info on that moniker!) I enjoyed coming up with questions, and enjoyed even more reading her responses – she is such an intelligent and amazing woman! I particularly liked what she had to say about women’s taste in porn and how it impacts younger women and girls. As a mom of a young girl, that REALLY struck home with me, and I completely agree with her opinion. It’s a complex world we live in, and although I am absolutely liberal when it comes to sexuality and freedom of speech, I am also acutely aware of the affect the “world” has on the young and impressionable. I am all for free speech and expression – when it is exposed to the appropriate age. Perhaps I will write a post about that subject in the future. Anyway, I digress. I want to thank Venus Vegas for taking the time and effort to answer my questions! Without further ado, I give you the interview with Venus Vegas @ HotMoviesForHer.com:

O4Her: What is your “official” title at Hot Movies?

VV: I wear many hats! I started and run HotMoviesForHer.com, and I also manage webmaster affiliate and studio accounts for all of our VOD sites, as well as marketing and helping development of our affiliate program MovieDollars.com. I also attend almost every single trade show, which is pretty much a monthly task!

O4Her: How did you find your job at Hot Movies, or did it find you?

VV: LOL, this is a long back story [so] I will try to keep it as short as possible! Years ago I was going to school for fashion design and worked at a fetish boutique in West Hollywood, which definitely opened my mind to the risqué side of the world – I loved it. Fast forward a few years and some personal issues that set me back, I was working at a bakery when I learned I had Celiac disease (cannot eat gluten, ie: wheat, most common grains), and had to find a new job that would not make me sick. Since job hunting is oh so thrilling, I saw an entry level job listing at HotMovies.com, and I thought, “I think this is porn… this sounds like fun until I find a real job.” Well, 4 years later and some positions higher, I’m still here and I love it.

O4Her: How do you explain your job to strangers?

VV: Ha, depends who the stranger is! Usually I babble on about internet marketing and SEO (search engine optimization). Some people are quick [to] judge when you mention “adult” industry, either that you’re a complete perverted heathen, or that you’re a complete perverted nympho.

O4Her: Since launching Hot Movies For Her two years ago, what changes have you seen in regards to women looking for porn?

VV: I don’t think that much has changed in women searching for porn… over the past few years and as time goes on I think more women are seeking it out and also know a little more of what they’re looking for, and more acceptance from society definitely. When I started the site a couple years ago, I saw an opening in the “female” market that I felt we could serve – more video options, discrete online purchasing and viewing without monthly commitments. Overall there is much community in the adult web space, but I think it’s even closer in the side that markets to women, because it’s not just about money, it’s a personal investment as well. I think most female run adult businesses care about women in general.

O4Her: Have you learned anything surprising about women’s taste in porn?

VV: Honestly, after working for a fetish company, NOTHING surprises me about what turns people on… I think the most surprising is possibly the increasing amount of mainstream exposure in magazines and talk shows. They’ve always talked about sex – “10 New Hot Ways To Turn Your Man On!” every month, so you’d think it would be a natural progression into recommended porn, but at the same time I know I wasn’t the only pre-teen reading those same magazines, so it’s a little awkward at the same time. While I think sex and porn are great, I think the current trend of mainstream over-exposure can be damaging to young girls. When I was growing up, when people even kissed on TV you’d hear the audience “OOoooOOOhhh”… now every teen show is all about sordid sex scandals. I think it gives the wrong impression. Sure, people might say it’d be good for our business later, but I think the fact that it’s marketed to teenagers by non-adult companies is just wrong. Porn gets a lot of slack, but I think the mainstream companies are pushing way too many limits. Wow, sorry, I rambled off track there a bit… basically I think the mainstream exposure is helping in the acceptance of women that it’s OK to watch porn, but also that the exposure is starting at too young of an age, when girls shouldn’t have to not only worry about the pressures of sex, but the pressures of being overtly sexual. On the other hand, I think the recent show “The Secret Lives of Women” on WEtv, with their episode on porn stars, gave a good insight into the performer side. They also featured Buck Angel, who was born female but identifies as male, who I know touched a number of people who feel the same way. I think real life exposure like this is good. I think understanding your own sexuality and what turns you on comes first, and porn comes second in helping explore your fantasies and filling and complimenting any needs you may have.

O4Her: Why do you think there should be adult websites specifically for women?

VV: There’s debate pro and against this. I see the points from both sides, and working for a company that (until I came along!) marketed predominantly to men, I say there should be. If only for a couple main reasons. One, I’d say at least 95% of adult websites are geared towards men, and I’ll honestly say a lot of content being made is just not good. The sex isn’t real, it’s all about the “money shot” and the way it’s shot the performers aren’t in positions that are natural. That may appeal to some women, but “women’s” sites usually feature content that gets lost in that mix – real sex, more erotic foreplay, focus on the women’s pleasure (and the woman is truly pleasured!), not degrading to women in general. A lot of this content is made by women, and not as easily accessible from elsewhere.

Another reason, which is debatable (but I know I personally feel this way when I buy), is that women tend to be more “discerning” shoppers – they want to know where the content is coming from, do the producers/sellers care about them or are they just about a quick buck. As opposed to guys buying with their penises, I think more women shop with their head and heart. At least some of the time

O4Her: What are your predictions for the next two years regarding women and porn?

VV: I definitely think it will be even more acceptable than it is today. I do believe that there are some women who do like porn of any sort, however I think a lot of people who say they don’t like it just haven’t found good porn that turns them on. I know I can blow through a bunch of movies I think will be good until I find one that I actually find hot. The goal of sites for women, including [Hot Movies For Her], is to help find that hot porn.

I was actually talking to an old friend this weekend who I hadn’t seen in years who said she knows nothing about porn. I think this is common, and for some people, it won’t make any difference in their lives. On the flip side for others though, I think if you can find what turns you on it can do wonders not only for your sex life, but even in your own sexual fantasies.

O4Her: Do you think being a “sex-positive” woman is an advantage or a hindrance in the dating world?

VV: Ahh, you know I’d like to think it’s an advantage, but I think for me I tend to find the guys that start to get funny ideas in their head! Overall, I think it’s an advantage because it’s basically just self-confidence… I know what I like and I’m not afraid of it, so it helps not only in the sack, but in the dating world of sifting out the assholes (kind of).

O4Her: What advice can you give to a novice (a woman who has never viewed porn)?

VV: Basically, do you know what turns you on? I think subconsciously most people know, but it takes a bit to figure it out on a conscious level. I also think porn is a great way to explore fantasies that you don’t necessarily want to act out in real life. Movie reviews can help weed out good from bad, things that are portrayed that you want to see or don’t want to see. I also think written erotica is a good way to explore as well, words are much less in your face than video. Once you find something you like, start exploring from there – the director or studios other works, what other movies one of the stars was in, or even other movies in that niche.

O4Her: What is your favorite movie at Hot Movies For Her, and why?

VV: I have a number of favorites, but my ultimate favorite is “The Good Girl” by Erika Lust. She’s an independent filmmaker from Spain, and she captured just enough of the pre-sex build up and then a quality sex scene that stands out from much of the mass produced sex scenes that are made. A close second are the movies from Stella Films, by Estelle Joseph. She matches stars with chemistry that comes across very hot on video, and also uses music that isn’t tacky!

O4Her: I have been enjoying reading your blog on Hot Movies For Her! I’m going to guess you are a fan of music, so what are you listening to these days?

VV: Well, I can’t take credit for our Friday “Mixtape Rewinds”, where we feature random music picks. But all of us are music fans, with varied tastes! My personal tastes run the gamut – I did my first “Mixtape Rewind” and I featured a Russian singer that I heard in a recent cab ride. [editors note: see Venus' blog for more info on the cab ride!]

O4Her: Do you have a favorite porn soundtrack?

VV: Currently no. But if I had my wish, there would be an excellent sex scene set to anything by Rob Zombie. Or the Cramps, their music is very sexy too.

O4Her: You go to a lot of adult trade shows, and I’m sure you’ve seen some interesting things. Can you share any highlights – stuff that has a “sexy-factor” or a “weird-factor”, or is otherwise juicy?

VV: You’d think I would! Most of the shows I attend are webmaster shows, so it’s business to business web people (with tons of naked girls around). I tell my friends stories that I think are mundane, and they’re like “Your job is like Mardi Gras!”. I guess I’m jaded? I think my favorite part is to meet the people behind the scenes, producers and performers, and hear their side of what they do and how they like it. I remember one time talking with Joanna Angel a couple years ago, telling her how I love her movies and how she always found hot guys, but I couldn’t take all of the gagging in the movies, to which she said how the girls want to do that. Even though I know a lot of women like sex in ways that other people might find “degrading”, it’s always good to hear that the performers are into it, regardless if you actually like to watch it. I think this spans across a lot (not necessarily all) content.

O4Her: Do you have any tips, “insider info”, or advice for users of HotMoviesForHer.com?

VV: I’d like to think everything is self explanatory, but I know it’s not LOL! I guess the biggest thing is that even though we are part of a much larger company, and we are a real team of women that run the site, right now there’s 4 of us. One thing I love about our company is that we’re honest and don’t scam our customers in any way.

O4Her.com: Can you give me a shameless plug for Hot Movies for Her? Maybe the benefits and advantages to using the site?

VV: I think our two biggest benefits are our blog and our video site. Our blog is free, fun and informative. We also don’t just write about Cosmo style sex, we touch on lesbian and gender identity topics and issues. Two of us are straight, and two of us are lesbian, including J.D. Bauchery, who is our resident “sexpert”. We write about everything from, “George Clooney is Single -He’s Mine Now!” to the latest in GLBT rights and sex scandals, as well as interviews with top stars and female producers. We also have industry guest columns from Nica Noelle, a seasoned lesbian performer and director/producer, and Audacia Ray, a former sex-worker/advocate/writer and award nominated director. I think one of the challenges of doing a women’s site on a whole is that so many women are completely different, and even if you are born with a vagina doesn’t mean you’ll fit the mold of what society thinks a typical “women” is, and we try to make everyone welcome and find things that will interest them. On a video side, we review different movies and have different “theaters” based on a number of different genres, but we don’t limit our selections – we know everyone has varied tastes and we’re not here to tell them they have to watch this video or that video. Our site is great because it’s not only discrete online viewing (no embarrassing video store trips or DVDs lying around), but there’s no monthly or recurring fees. All new users get 10 minutes free, and you have the option to purchase more in the future. You never get charged unless you make a purchase, and your unwatched minutes never expire. You don’t have that pressure to watch just because you paid for the month. We also have a lot of “for women” content that you can’t find at other sites with the same set up as ours. And finally, because the site exists because we love it. No one is forced to work on it (yes we get paid, but we chose to work on it) – the site was born out of personal beliefs, and fortunately has grown into something that I hope women (or anyone) can enjoy.

In my last post, I was talking about finding some good adult websites for women.  The one I’m into right now is called Hot Movies For Her, and the cool thing about it is that it’s VOD (video on demand) which means you pay for only what you select to watch, as opposed to having to sign up for a “membership” to the website (those can be cool too, but I’ll talk more about that in a future review.)  The other thing I like about this website is that there are tons of movies to chose from.  They don’t assume that every woman out there is looking for the same thing, and they also seem to understand that some of us might be more adventurous than others.  There’s almost 7,000 full-length videos to choose from, available in various formats, including some in iPod format. Here’s the cost info:

Option 1: $0.15 per minute
Option 2: $2.45 for 10 minutes
Option 3: $49.95 for 600 minutes

If this sounds like something you’d like to check out, click HERE.  And I’d love to hear what you think, so add a comment or send me an e-mail – if you can peel yourself away from the website long enough! ; )