OK, so I have much to say on this subject, but as it turns out someone else pretty much said everything I wanted to say - and probably in a much more hilarious way. I don’t normally just give you a link to another article without weighing in on it too, but I swear she really did say it all – and did I mention it’s f’n hilarious?! So, here’s the link – it’s a post from one of my favorite online mags, Jezebel, and trust me it’s worth reading!:

Everything You Wanted to Know About Having Sex After Giving Birth But Were Afraid to Ask

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Hey folks! I just wanted to check in and say that I haven’t dropped off the face of the earth completely! 

I apologize for the radio silence this summer, and hope all of you enjoyed your summer as much as I did! And for those of you that are returning, thanks so much for sticking around! XOXOXO!

As a stay-at-home-Mom, I got caught up with kid and house duties, in addition to a couple vacations this summer, and have not had a chance to write a post here in a while! I thought about just trying to put something up quickly, but I know you all deserve better than that, so I decided no news was better than lame news!

But I’m BACK! The kids are back in school and I’m ready to write! So please stay tuned for some upcoming posts with substance!

Yep. Well, not really, but that’s what my daughter said the other day, in a sing-song-y voice while swimming in our pool, talking to herself – or so she thought. Despite my shock and desire to say “what the hell?!” (I have my own story about this phrase….) I told her to swim over to me – rather calmly, I might add. (As she’s swimming over, my stream of consciousness is saying – nevermind the fact that it’s amazing that a child born 25 years after his death would be saying the words Elvis Presley. That’s interesting, but the other thing. That’s disturbing!) She swam over and looked up at me with those innocent, almost 9 year old eyes (trying to hide a hint of “Oops, I probably shouldn’t have said that but I don’t know why.”) And this is the conversation that ensued:

Me: “Where did you learn that word?”
Her: “School.” (no surprise there!)
Me: “Do you know what the word ‘gay’ means?”
Her: “No…”
Me: “If you don’t know what a word means, then you shouldn’t say it.”
Her: “Well, what DOES it mean?” (oops, I didn’t think ahead on this….ummm…OK, so now I’m thinking – I don’t want to lie to her because I want her to know that she can trust me and come to me to get the honest truth about anything, but I don’t want to tell her something that might be inappropriate, but it’s not like being gay is inappropriate, and there’s plenty of kids who have gay parents and they know what it is at an early age and they grow up just fine, so….OK, I’ve been silent for long enough, I need to say something….)
Me: “Well, it’s when a boy likes another boy. But some people use the word in a bad way to mean “stupid” or “dumb”, and we don’t use those kinds of words, so I don’t want you to use that word like that either, OK?”
Her: “OK” (That was it. Just OK. No more questions. Huh…)
Me: “And remember, if you don’t know what a word means, DO NOT say it. You are welcome to come and ask me what it means, but don’t use it yourself, OK?”
Her: “OK, Mom!” (I didn’t even get the usual eye-roll! Huh…)

And that was that. Lord, I hope something sunk in with her – not only about that particular word which was obviously said in ignorance, but for the general lesson of not saying words we don’t understand. Ignorance is not an excuse.

Come to think of it, I wish more adults would learn that lesson too….

Female masturbation. Well, that’s the boring term for it anyway. But why say it so clinically when there are so many other, um, creative ways to say it? How many can you think of? If you want to test your skills, check out this video which shows some literal examples of the “pink taco” vernacular. Even I didn’t get them all (I know, hard to believe, huh!) But I did crack up at some of their interpretations!

The Big Penis Book 3D

Just in case you weren’t satisfied with The Big Penis Book (in 2D), you can now enjoy this same classic in 3D. That’s right, ladies! Feast your eyes on photos that are all about the proverbial package, and in a way you’ve never experienced before!

It goes without saying, but The Big Penis Book 3-D is the perfect unique gift! For a bachelorette, your best friend, or of course for yourself! And guys – show your wife or girlfriend that you care about her sexual desires! What’s great is that this book comes with it’s very own set of 3D glasses. But what’s really great is that the photos have been painstakingly perfected to look good without the glasses too (hello, coffee table book!) By the way, the editor and author is a woman – which I mention because personally I like to support other women in this world – and also it has more of a chance of being interesting from a woman’s perspective.

At about 25 bucks for a hardcover book that’s got 96 tantalizing images, this is also a great way to give a unique gift without breaking the bank! Needless to say, this book has now been bumped to the top of my Amazon wishlist!

I have found that the folks in adult entertainment are some of the most generous and kind people around. Contrary to stereotype, they do have a conscience, and they try to use their “star power” for good. Here’s an excellent example. This brand new organization allows porn stars (and others in adult entertainment), to inspire their fans to donate to their favorite charity. The ACA’s goal is to raise a total of $40,000 by July 4th, and they are already 25% there! I strongly encourage you to visit the Adult Cares Alliance website, and see what you can do to help a charity, and people in need. Unless, of course, YOU don’t have a conscience!

Are you on your mobile device right now? Are you looking for mobile porn for women? Yep, me too! In fact, not long ago that was EXACTLY what I was looking for on a nice quiet evening! My man was out of town, and I had put the kids to bed and was chilling out in the bedroom, when the mood kinda struck me. So I reached over to my iPad and figured I’d just Google something. What a fuckin’ buzz kill! OK, I consider myself to be pretty knowledgeable about the porn that’s out there, but I was striking out all over the place! Either the site I went to didn’t have a good mobile format, or it just didn’t have stuff I was interested in. Especially if I was gonna pay for it! (By the way, you do get what you pay for – which means the “free” stuff usually SUCKS! But that’s a post for another day…) Anyway, I got more and more frustrated, and finally gave up, got my vibrator out, and just used my imagination (which is pretty triple X, but let’s just say it wasn’t new material….) So, I just recently started searching for mobile porn for women, and found this lovely site called Sssh.com! It’s for women – BY women! What a concept, huh?! And they cater to both computer users and mobile phone and handheld device users! So now I have a plan in place for the NEXT time the hubby takes a business trip!! I might even surprise him, and suggest we watch something together – something that I PICKED (not that he doesn’t choose good porn – but sometimes I like to be in control!) Anyway, good mobile porn for women does actually exist! Check it out!

If you were a teen in the 1980’s, you were around when the word gay was re-purposed. It went from meaning ”happy” to meaning, well, basically - ”lame”. It was used particularly heavily by valley girls, and in Southern California in general, and spread like wildfire across the country. Simultaneously, it also came to be known as the term for someone who was sexually attracted to the same sex as he/she was (particularly if you were male.) But unfortunately, the reference to “lame” became the most common, and it was generally accepted.

I was one of those girls that used to say “That’s so gay!”, when I didn’t like something. I thought nothing of it. Used it all the time, for several years through high-school. It was most definitely part of my “lingo”. Certainly this was not with the intention of offending a gay person, but in complete ignorance. Fortunately, by the time I entered college I had realized this was inappropriate and only used the term to describe a person’s sexual preference. But apparently my use of it in the other context had made some sort of impression in my sub-conscious. And here’s where I begin my little story.

My boyfriend at the time – let’s call him Mark, to retain anonymity – was living in a little guest house. The guest house was on the property of the main house – owned by two gay men – living as a couple. Now, Mark and I had no problem with this whatsoever, and in fact struck up a friendship with both of them (we’ll call them Tom and Doug.) They were both nice guys, good landlords, and we all got along great. So, one evening we went out on a double date. We had a very nice evening, dining at an upscale restaurant, and because we were starving college kids, Tom and Doug very kindly treated us! On our drive home, we were having a lively conversation, talking and laughing and having a good time. Somehow we got on the subject of something I thought was ridiculous, and out of my unsuspecting mouth comes that DAMN phrase “Oh my God, that is so GAY!”…….silence. I am totally mortified. I want to crawl into a little hole and die! Where the hell did that come from? I haven’t said that term in years! YEARS! Why the hell did I say that out of the blue?! The following couple seconds went in slow motion, but I managed to continue talking, babbling, saying whatever I could think of to just keep the sentence going so that hopefully, maybe, by some miracle that phrase just blended in and didn’t get noticed. Even though I KNOW it was noticed. I dunno, maybe I hoped that if I just kept talking and acting like nothing happened, then they would realize I didn’t mean anything by it, and didn’t even know I said anything wrong. Which was not the case, but….yikes, I just had NO idea how to handle that! Fortunately, Tom and Doug continued to be nice to us, and nothing was ever said. I sincerely hope they knew I had absolutely no ill will towards them or any other gay person. I just was a victim of my own past vernacular. Or something like that!

Anyway, this little clip I put in here is such a great idea! I love it when celebrities (like sports figures) use their power for good. Why not get a positive message out there? Teach some folks, or at least remind some folks, of how to be nice in this world. Some may say this is being overly “PC”, and I agree that sometimes we can get too carried away and overly concerned about offending anyone for any little thing. But in this case, I think using the term “gay” to mean, essentially, “lame” is NOT OK. It’s not OK because it’s a negative connotation. I mean, c’mon people, the gays of the world have a difficult enough time with prejudice from folks who don’t approve of them, they certainly don’t need this added baggage! So, THINK before you speak. And if something does accidentally surface from your “not so PC” past – acknowledge it, apologize, and move on. Which is what I wish I’d done all those years ago, so learn from my mistake!

So, I was just looking at my traffic statistics (general data about the kind of folks who visit this site), and I noticed a really cool thing. Although the majority of my traffic is from the “West” (US, Canada, Europe, Australia), there are several other countries represented. I love this, because to me it’s a reminder that sexuality - specifically female sexuality - is a GLOBAL issue! As women, we are all faced with some similar circumstances due to the pure fact that we have female genetalia. Granted, there are huge differences from country to country and culture to culture when it comes to how women are treated and therefore how they treat themselves (including sexually), but we all have a common bond. We all can relate at least on some level. So, here’s a shout out to the women of some of the “not-so-Western” countries that have visited O4Her…

Hello and welcome to the ladies (and men) of:

- India
- Philipines
- Pakistan
- Malaysia
- Turkey
- Greece
- Brazil
- Indonesia
- Mexico
(there’s more, but these are the top ones, so I apologize if I missed your country. Feel free to comment with your own shout out from your own country!)

I wish all my visitors much success in their journey as a sex positive woman in this world!