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March 7th, 2013 at 7:06 pm

Fuck Christian Grey, I want Iron Man!

Actually, I DON’T want to fuck Christian Grey. Well, OK I totally would, but I’d rather fuck Iron Man. I mean it’s no contest! Billionaire? Check. Genius? Check. Playboy? Check. Philanthropist? Check. But wait, there’s more to Iron Man than the attributes listed in one of the best lines in The Avengers. He’s witty, and he’s fucking HOT! Absolutely P.E.R.F.E.C.T. And that’s even before he puts on the suit! Whaaaat! Christian Grey has nothing on him. What’s that, you say? Iron Man is a super hero and not a realistic character? Oh yeah, like Christian Grey is a realistic character! Do you know or know of ANYONE like that? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Besides, even if you take away Iron Man’s superhero status, he still kicks Christian Grey’s gorgeous butt.  Anyway, if we’re going to fantasize about someone, why not make him a super hero (plus all the other stuff)? It’s a FANTASY. Which is why I am talking about Iron Man, and not Robert Downey, Jr. Although I’d bang him too, just in case you were wondering.

Who am I kidding, I’d pretty much bang any of the main characters in The Avengers! I mean just look at the selection! It’s a virtual Smörgåsbord of hot guys (+ one gal), most of whom are superheros. In my estimation, the only difficulty in determining which Avenger character is fuckable  would be prioritizing the list. But that’s exactly what I’m gonna attempt to do. Yes, it’s a tough job but somebody’s gotta do it!

Here’s my “Avengers I Want to Fuck” in order of priority:

  1. Iron Man (for reasons already stated above!)
  2. Thor (um, he’s a god, people! And an uber hot one at that! Imagine the possibilities!)
  3. Captain America (hey, I’m patriotic! This is one “boy next door” I want next to me!)
  4. Natasha Romanoff (for starters, it’s Scarlett Johansson – duh! Natasha is gorgeous AND she kicks ass!)
  5. Hawkeye (he may not be a superhero, but he’s super hot, and he’s also just the right amount of wrong!)
  6. Bruce Banner/The Hulk (a “two-for-one” deal! We could start out nice and slow, and then switch to angry sex!)

And here are the Non-Avengers I’d like to fuck:

  1. Nick Fury (even with the scars, he’s still a “badass motherfucker” – OK, that’s another movie, but it’s still true!)
  2. Loki (he may be the bad guy who gets his ass kicked, but he’s still hot, and he’s still a god!)

Whew….That’s a whole lotta lusting for just one movie…I’m tired (and horny) just thinking about it!

P.S. The new Iron Man movie is coming out and I just watched the trailer. Looks like it’ll be another good one!

 

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